11 Tips On How To Keep Your Boyfriend Happy Everyday I Won’t Recommend Any More Self Improvement Books

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I Won’t Recommend Any More Self Improvement Books

If you take five minutes to read the evidence below, you will come to the same conclusion that I’ve arrived at – that self help books only help the authors, publishers and book sellers. Forbes has stated that $11bn was spent, in the US alone, on self help books and products in 2008 ‘ the last year for which I can find any concrete data. I don’t have a breakdown of revenues between products and actual books. But, when you realize that Rhonda Byrne’s bestselling self help book, ‘The Secret’, has taken in over $350m, you might begin to agree with my point of view. Remember, millions of people have paid good money to be told, in ‘The Secret’, that, if you want something out of life, just believe that you have it already. You don’t have to actually go and do anything about it!! The key point is that self improvement is huge business.

So what – if it’s helping people. But it’s not! The LSE places the United States – the ones spending all the money on self help – 46th in the world in terms of happiness, well behind countries like Ghana, Latvia, India and Croatia. According to US research by The Conference Board carried out in 2010, 55% of people are unhappy in their work – the figure is over 60% for those aged between 35 and 44 years. On top of that, a number of surveys in the UK and United States have confirmed that over 65% of people say that they are continually worried about not having enough money to make it comfortably through 2011. And I’d like to finish off our statistical magical misery tour in the UK where the Health Service Executive believes that nearly 10m working days were lost in 2009 – due to something that actually doesn’t exist except in the sufferer’s mind – stress! Oh and by the way, all these key indicators of dissatisfaction are increasing at an exponential research over the last two decades.

Now, here’s the key question. Now, if there are so many people spending so much money on self improvement books, why aren’t there millions of happy people around?

I can suggest a couple of answers. Firstly, I think that most people do actually read the book or books that they’ve bought – but then they don’t do anything in their daily lives to follow it up. One particular individual that springs to mind has been recommending self improvement books to me for fifteen years and, from where I’m sitting, little has changed in his life – by the way ‘from where I’m sitting’ means that he constantly telephones me about his problems, his useless thoughts, his money worries, his sleepless nights, etc., etc., etc.! It’s akin to picking up an armful of holiday brochures, getting all excited about the exotic locations that you want to go to and then not bothering to purchase a ticket!

And that’s a key problem with self improvement books. They’re feel good books but make no difference six weeks later. You might as well read a good novel, thriller, romance – delete as appropriate! – or, God help us, even a true crime book! Even worse, you feel good about how someone else has benefited from sticking a ‘Universal Bank’ cheque to themselves for a million dollars on their fridge and the million dollars was beamed down from the clear blue sky (I can’t resist having another pop at ‘The Secret’) and then you feel rotten that it hasn’t worked for you. In the end, you come to the conclusion that it’s all a load of rubbish – which, need I mention, ‘The Secret’ is. Sorry, I won’t mention it again!

Of course, the other big problem with personal development books is that all the bestsellers have been written by millionaire self help self proclaimed gurus. It’s very easy to write nice feel-good things about how the universe gives you what you want if you’ve got it already! I don’t think the likes of Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins or Deepak Chopra are having sleepless nights about paying the mortgage or the kids’ school fees – but their poor unhappy readers are! And, of course, it’s a dawdle to practice the seven steps to enlightenment or the seven secrets of whatever if you’re rolling in money! These guys just keep churning out the stuff in name of self improvement – yeah, their own!

Is it any wonder that I’ve decided to never recommend another personal development book to you again – not even my own. These books don’t give you the instructions that you need to put what amounts to a few simple, practical steps, into everyday action. And even though I did my best to provide simple instructions in my own book, ‘To Succeed… Just Let Go’ most of my readers clearly haven’t taken the leap yet! On the other hand, if I bought a new electric saw, which I did recently, I’d be pretty annoyed if it came with a glossy book that told me how the saw had changed other people’s lives. I’d expect my saw to come with a user’s manual. I’d read it and I’d use the saw accordingly.

Unfortunately, neither you nor I were delivered with a user’s manual and there doesn’t seem to be one available – at least not in book form. At the start of each week, subscribers to my Personal Development Ezine receive a short video. And, from the feedback that I get, I think these are a little more helpful – I try to be to the point. I try to provide simple tips and ideas about the small things that you need to start doing every single day. Yeah, that’s another problem with your average self help book – nobody has explaine to you that you need to be fully committed, day in day out, during the course of the day – in fact, moment to moment. But, if you do make the commitment – and I’m not suggesting that major work is required. In fact, you just need to do small, almost tiny, things – but each and every day – then the benefits are enormous. I know – and some of my clients can confirm this. I’m no millionaire, no desire to be one. I have a nice life today and, as today is all I have, I’m happy and content. And that, my friends, is the purpose of self improvement.

Copyright (c) 2011 Willie Horton

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